End of the World

In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: it goes on.

– Robert Frost

Well then…it’s been a few months since I’ve posted and I can’t say they’ve been grand.

Covid has me working from home and I love it. I had no idea that working remotely would have me being more productive. It hasn’t been without it’s challenges.

Financially, I’ve heard of people saving money due to being home…all I have to say is they must not have teens!

We lost our bearded dragon, Charlie, in the Spring due to heart failure

My baby Chalie 💔

We adopted a new pup, Dahlia! She’s almost 15 weeks and is 25 lbs already.

Pretty baby girl ❤

In April, we found out Bishop had lung cancer and his liver was herniating into his esophagus. Notice the past tense…my heart broke last week when we had to take him for his last drive and visit to the vet. I can’t talk about it yet. I miss my boy so much. He was my copilot on drives, my snuggle buddy.

Bishop’s smile

Basically, my depression has been shit, my anxiety worse and my life a go-to. But! I have a home. I have happiness. I have family. I have food in my belly. I have gratitude ❤

It’s not the end of the world, even though it feels like it is sometimes.

Great Big Sea – End of the World

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Mythroll!

I seriously can’t wait for my husband to see these on his birthday!

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Free your mind

“Flow with whatever may happen, and let your mind be free: Stay centered by accepting whatever you are doing. This is the ultimate.” ― Zhuangzi

Mental health has been at the front of my mind these past few weeks.

Learning more about me, remembering that I cannot control everything, trying to go with the flow and remembering I am not my depression in particular.

Realizing that I cannot control how others act or treat others is a big one for me. Something I realize I need to learn is when to speak up and when to sit down and listen.

I sit back and watch the world go by. Should I speak up? I question everything.

En Vogue – Free Your Mind

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White Snow on Green Needles

White snow on green needles
Fresh with the blush of after life
The evergreen sags with the weight
White snow glistening with false pretense
Harmonious chaos
A dance
White snow on green needles
The dusk of a dawn
Grey skies blanket the scene
Wisps of smoky Crystal’s
Falling into place on
White snow on green needles

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See You On The Other Side

“I wish it need not have happened in my time,” said Frodo.
“So do I,” said Gandalf, “and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.” ― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring

On Tuesday, January 21, 2020, I watched on as a brother passed to the other side. We weren’t blood related, we didn’t even meet until we were in high school. That didn’t matter.

Anthony “Tony” Forbes was an amazing person. A huge teddy bear of a man. A proud father. A best friend. A brother.

Tony used to tell me that you never say goodbye – you only say see you later. You see, he was First Nations. In his last moments on this green ball in space, he was surrounded by those who loved him and I have no doubt his ancestors were there to greet him.

Tony

Tony rocking the dance moves in the mid 1990’s

I always knew that he was my heart brother. I didn’t know how much I would miss him. He was always there. We never got to see each much in person in recent years, but he was THERE.

I was honoured when his family asked me to give the eulogy, terrified, but honoured. I and others were honorary pallbearers. His children were there, his two youngest are my godchildren.

I’ve been trying to formulate a post to honour him, but honestly, my thoughts are scattered.

I miss you, Tony. I’m so sorry I wasn’t physically around more. Maybe I would have caught what was happening with your health. I’ll keep checking in on your mom and Roy. I’ll keep bugging the kids to make sure they are ok. I’ll keep Ronnie on his toes.

I love you, brother. I’ll see you on the other side.

Ozzy Osbourne – See You On The Other Side

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