“Every morning I jump out of bed and step on a landmine. The landmine is me. After the explosion, I spend the rest of the day putting the pieces together.” ― Ray Bradbury, Zen in the Art of Writing (Source: Goodreads).

I have never heard it put so eloquently. What is it? It is the way I feel when I get out of bed. The mass of emotions, thoughts, dreams, fears, hopes, wishes, prayers, sensations – everything flooding in as I wipe the sleep from my eyes. A flood of everything in my life rushes in and I must parse it together and move on with my day.

Sometimes, it is too much and I find myself in a fog. Brain fog is common to MS and allergy sufferers. I find that my sleep and waking affect how bad it is. Stress makes it worse. Learning mindfulness would help. I’ve downloaded apps to try – ask me if I’ve used them. The answer would be – not yet. It’s funny how having children makes you focus on their wants and needs before your own. That is not always a healthy way to be. One needs to have time to decompress, especially after a rather bad day.

I’ve downloaded Stop, Breathe & Think, Calm, and Mindfullness. I’ve looked at their contents, they look good, I just need to set aside the time to use them. Time is such a funny, fickle thing. One moment can feel as though it fills a lifetime, the next moment a millisecond from the sense of implosion it passes so quickly.

Exploding in my mind
it passes through
pace by pace
a never ending
race
against the cloak of
everything
rushing
fleeing
pushing
feeling
thoughts into my mind
As I step onto the cold
of my floor
dreams that came
are
nevermore
lost in the span
of a breathe
in time
lost inside the
explosions of my
mind

Ellie Goulding – Explosions