Love. It’s such a fickle thing, isn’t it? One minute you are madly in love…everything is new, fresh. The next, you question everything – every detail. Why?
No, I’m not talking about my husband – he’s wonderful and normally very patient. My daughter, on the other hand, is a teenager. With teen hood ultimately comes secrets, and she, for some reason, feels the need to hide things. It makes it incredibly hard to trust her, but I try. I love her. I love all my children, unconditionally – but trust. That’s a different thing.
Have I always done right by them? I don’t think so but I know I have tried. I try, gods know that I have tried to do everything in my power to make sure they have all they need, most of what they want, and an abundance of love and attention. It’s hard though when you throw your whole life into something only to be called down behind your back. I won’t go into it, but I know things have been said about me that have caused pain and confusion – none of it true – but the truth rarely matters to some.
I feel like the harder I try, the worse it gets. Maybe it’s time to give up…stop trying, just let the dominoes fall where they may and pick up the pieces after the fallout.
Sia – Elastic Heart