A Break in the Clouds

“Fuck this.
Fuck this wondering. Fuck this trying and trying. Fuck this belief that two people can become one ideal. Fuck this helplessness. Fuck this waiting for something to happen that probably won’t ever happen.”David Levithan, Nick & Norah’s Infinite Playlist

Does anyone actually ever catch a break?


Since February I have had a lot of shit happen. I was actually listing it off and decided it was easier just to say it’s been a really crappy start to 2016. I’m hoping things turn around now…

Can I haz nap now plz?

Between the pets, hubby (diagnosed with Parkinson’s a few weeks ago), and the teens and toddler…I’m ready for an extended break

I have a break in the clouds tomorrow at least – my mom paid for me to get a massage. I can’t wait. Hopefully my heart will stop thumping before then.

Rob Zombie – Living Dead Girl

A break…

A break. Sometimes, that is all I want, a break. A break from everyone and everything. A break from all that I think I have to do. Then I get stuck. No break needed, the brain fog drifting in on ever expanding waves of – wait, what?

I started my day with a break. Baby fast asleep, older children still at their grandparents’ home. I thought I’d get to relax, maybe write, maybe even do that ever absent ‘gaming’ I so often speak about. I dared to open my game of choice. There are times I think that I have a minor curse. No sooner did I load the start screen of said game and – MOM! *sigh* Break is over. I think it was fun. Baby is up, time to run and clean and cuddle and snuggle.

So tired. Oh look, it’s not even noon yet. Maybe, just maybe, babe will nap and I can have a break. MOM! Nope. child #1 needs help cleaning her room. Child #2 needs help making his bed (at 12 he should know how. Note to self – teach him to do it properly). Rush to get babe to sleep, rush to help Child #2, rush to help Child #1, babe awake before that even began, dad in the mix AND…time to sit and feed babe while the cycle begins anew.

Maybe I’ll get a break later. Babe fell asleep on me. So peaceful. Typing one handed, at least this is a semi-break, no gaming though – I need two hands for that. A break to plant my garden would be nice, but it’s late July, and I have yet to change the soil in my plants. The soil the cat peed in. Can you feel my joy? The juxtaposition of the emotions and the actions make me want to laugh out loud.

Babe refusing to go back to sleep. He’s so damn cute though! Into the swing he goes, maybe it’s rocking will do the trick. Ahhhhh…a break…so tired. Zoned out at my keyboard, gaming not even an option right now, well, not until baby sleeps. Nope. Not happening.

Supper, soccer, shopping. So much to do! I need a break…oh, it’s bedtime already? The breaking of my day, time for sleep; sweet, sweet sleep.

Isn’t life funny. I take the greatest joys in the busiest, strangest of days.