“Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn’t before! What if Christmas, he thought, doesn’t come from a store. What if Christmas…perhaps…means a little bit more!” Dr. Seuss, How the Grinch Stole Christmas!

I have ZERO focus.

This is me –


You see my youngest is going to be 3 in January. He KNOWS Santa is coming. His unbelievable excitement has spilled out onto me.



I think I may have a problem…well, not really. Well, I do. Because I LOVE making and giving presents and I’m a total cotton-headed ninny muffin as I do not have the money to do everything I want to do. I WANT TO GIVE ALL THE GIFTS!!!


How am I going to make it another 22 days…

Here’s my all-time favourite Christmas album…

Bing Crosby – White Christmas full album

Baby It’s Cold Outside

“One can never have enough socks,” said Dumbledore. “Another Christmas has come and gone and I didn’t get a single pair. People will insist on giving me books.” J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone


*whew* I got that out of my system…LOL not.

I think having a toddler has revived my seasonal spirit. I remember when I was young; ok, not really that long ago; I was a holiday fanatic. Even when my teens were little, I could barely sleep Christmas Eve because I couldn’t wait to see the looks on their faces!

I went through a spell for a while where Christmas lost all magic. I still tried my best for my babies, but being a single working mom sapped me. I got really sick (yay MS…). My energy was non-existent, and I was financially terrified. How would I make things magic for them? How would I keep my house? How would I heat it?! How would I get us food!?

Every year without fail something amazing happened and we never went without. By whatever master stroke of luck or providence or what have you, my kids and I always managed to have just what we needed (yes, needed, not wanted) right when we needed it. One year we were blessed with support that I have tried to repay every year by sponsoring a family in need or donating.

This year, my eldest is 16 going on 17. My next child is 15. My baby is 2 soon to be 3 (in January). The elder two get completely into the season helping to make it magic for their younger brother and it pays off in spades. I love it.

We may not be rich. We may not be able to get everything they want, when they want. But we are rich in our lives for what we do have – we have each other, we have a home, we have magic in our lives whether we see it or not.

I wouldn’t change it for anything…ok, a bit extra money for bills would be nice (who am I kidding? Everyone could use extra!).

Time for some cocoa and Christmas magic.

Zoey Deschanel & Leon Redbone – Baby It’s Cold Outside (From the “Elf” soundtrack)

Under Pressure

“Nobody works better under pressure. They just work faster.” Brian Tracy

Tis the season to feel pressure(d)
Fa la la la la la la la la
Shop for now, pay for it later
Fa la la la la la la la la
Don we now our face for family
Fa la la la la la la la la
Wrap the presents, stuff the turkey
Fa la la la la la la la la

Hope the kids don’t peek this year
Fa la la la la la la la la
Please let the baby sleep in later
Fa la la la la la la la la
Tip toe around to make everything ready
Fa la la la la la la la la
Wake up early and watch the waste pile
Fa la la la la la la la la

See the smiles and feel contentment
Fa la la la la la la la la
Fill your heart with love, not resentment
Fa la la la la la la la la
It’s not about receiving, all about giving
Fa la la la la la la la la
Take your time, enjoy the holiday
Fa la la la la la la la la

I’m really excited about this Christmas, and not. I’ve had everything ready for weeks (save the wrapping). I’m even ahead on certain birthdays for next year.

The only part that is missing – my two older teens. They are at their dad’s this year until Boxing Day, so our Christmas day will happen when they come home. The youngest won’t know the difference – he’ll just have a blast tearing through paper and hiding in boxes (he LOVES playing with boxes). But my eldest was worried about missing out, so I reassured her that we are adults, we can wait a day for them to come home and have Christmas.

Please parents who are divorced – please remember that this holiday, that this time of year is NOT about the adults.

Please remember to make it about your children.

Please put aside your animosity for the other parent.

Please remember not to say negative things about the other parent (whether they are a good or bad person, doesn’t matter). Be positive – your kids will remember that.

Please remember that you are making a memory for your child/children.

Please remember that it is NOT a competition. It doesn’t matter if you spend $10 or $1,000. Your children just want to enjoy their time with you, have fun, and see everyone happy.

It sucks so bad having to trade off years. It sucks just as bad for the other parent. No one wants to miss watching their kids open presents first things Christmas morning (unless you don’t celebrate Christmas – but the same goes for any faith celebration – Kwanzaa, Hanukkah, etc. Children watch us, they see us react, they can read us like there is no tomorrow.

Please make sure they see you are happy for them.

Please don’t make them feel guilty for wanting to be with the other parent.

Please don’t belittle them for loving the other parent.

They did NOT choose who their parents are. Like it or not – that other parent is in their lives (and partially yours) forever.

Yes, there are exceptions – someone who is abusive, who has supervised visits, who has no visits – however, saying negative things to the kids or in front of them does not help  them, it only makes them feel worse.

Wow – I did not see this  post coming. Initially, I just wanted it to be a fun goofy post about the holidays…funny what comes out sometimes when I start to write. I never plan it, it just happens.

Queen ft. David Bowie – Under Pressure

Only time

“Every man has his secret sorrows which the world knows not; and often times we call a man cold when he is only sad.”  Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

They say that only time can heal a wounded heart/soul/person. I would argue that. I’m almost 42 and time has done no healing. I have worked on healing myself, but time had very little to do with it.

Another day, another anxiety attack. New medications, new therapist, new outlook – maybe.

I have always found this season difficult. I love the Christmas season – I love the decorations, the veil of cheer. But under that veil is stress, hurt, worry. People spend more than they should, consumed with ensuring everyone has everything they want (not need). It strains relationships, friendships, lives.

I used to be a 911 operator. I loved that job. This time of year was always hard on everyone. More family violence, more of everything. So sad.

Time has not truly changed of that. I have changed the way I see it, the way I react to it. That doesn’t mean it’s a good change, it’s just that – a change. I’m working on it.

I hope someday that scientist will find a cure for mental health issues without side effect causing medications. I suppose, only time will tell.

Enya – Only Time