“No man is rich enough to buy back his past.” ― Oscar Wilde

I’ve been reminiscing so much over the last long while. My eldest just turned 18. She has her learner’s permit to drive. I think her reaching these milestones has brought on a wave of memories long since buried for me.

The aromas of the past linger on my senses. The yearning for those days tugs at my spirit.

I was so fucking care free.

I’m not sure how else to word that. I don’t normally curse in my writing, but the feeling is so intense. I had so much freedom and, yet, I restrained myself in chains of convention. I still do.

No matter how hard I try, I cannot buy back my past. I can’t remove the creases of time. I can’t erase the scars of life.

No matter how hard I want to, I can’t let go…let go of anxiety, depression, sickness.

I’m so desperate to lose weight, be healthy, that I’m forgetting to live along the way.

Would it not be incredible if everyone had the ability to afford proper nutrition, prepped for you when needed? Would it not be incredible if everyone had the ability to get the help they needed, when they needed it and how they needed it?

If I were to be rich, I would be able to do all that and more.

But I’m not.

I guess for now, I’ll trudge on my journey. Attempt to keep up with life, whilst trying to regain my life.

Gwen Stefani – Rich Girl ft. Eve