“Every morning I jump out of bed and step on a landmine. The landmine is me. After the explosion, I spend the rest of the day putting the pieces together.” ― Ray Bradbury, Zen in the Art of Writing

I feel like this every single day.

Will the landmine be in my mind, one of my children, my husband, my pets? What will the after shock be? Will I recover slow or quick?

I’m trying so hard to keep my energy going – but those bloody landmines keep getting in the way.

Kidney stone caused a late Monday trip to the hospital for me (oh joy), the Thursday before that my poor hubby was in agony from a horrible ear infection, now my youngest has an awful cold and is coughing all night, my eldest turns 17 next week and I have to figure out birthday plans, my middle child – he’s actually not doing bad. No landmines with him, well, except for the behavioural issues.

It’s almost 1 in the afternoon here and I have been ready for bed since I got up.

It’s also worth every waking moment.

I’ll take the landmines and the chaos they cause and use them to produce a life that is full and rich – full of love, laughter, tears, pain, joy, and a wealth in emotion and family. Don’t get me wrong, I would love a calmer existence, but that would be so much more boring.

Now to work on getting that exercise in and moving in the moment!

Ellie Goulding – Explosions

A Break in the Clouds

“Fuck this.
Fuck this wondering. Fuck this trying and trying. Fuck this belief that two people can become one ideal. Fuck this helplessness. Fuck this waiting for something to happen that probably won’t ever happen.”David Levithan, Nick & Norah’s Infinite Playlist

Does anyone actually ever catch a break?


Since February I have had a lot of shit happen. I was actually listing it off and decided it was easier just to say it’s been a really crappy start to 2016. I’m hoping things turn around now…

Can I haz nap now plz?

Between the pets, hubby (diagnosed with Parkinson’s a few weeks ago), and the teens and toddler…I’m ready for an extended break

I have a break in the clouds tomorrow at least – my mom paid for me to get a massage. I can’t wait. Hopefully my heart will stop thumping before then.

Rob Zombie – Living Dead Girl


This was too cool not to share: 800-year-old rune stick unearthed during excavation of Danish city – http://sciencenordic.com/800-year-old-rune-stick-unearthed-during-excavation-danish-city – such a great find! I would have loved to have been there when it was uncovered. I love holding history.

In other news, I think the meds I’ve been taking have given me an ulcer. Oh joy. Pain and burning in my stomach. I really don’t want to go back to the doctor, but it looks like I will now have no choice.

“I’m selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.”  Marilyn Monroe (Source: Goodreads).

You go Marilyn! I wouldn’t call her one of my idols or anything, but I do think she was a interesting and colourful person and I love this quote. She’s right – if you can’t deal with me at my worse, than you don’t deserve my best. A person should be loved unconditionally. Everyone deserves that (with few exceptions, I will add). Sometimes we may not get why certain people ever got involved, but it’s not for strangers to decide.

I love my husband. He has seen me at my worse, my bitchiest (illness and fatigue toy with emotions), and he still loves me. He has seen me at my biggest (physically) and he still finds me sexy. He has been my rock and my co-foundation. We are not mutually dependent on each other, but our lives are definitely richer for each other. I do my best to tell him as often as I think to that he is so appreciated. While I wallow in my ill times, he keeps the house going. I find him more and more attractive every day. He is the support I need, my best friend. Even when we are angry at each other, we are still able to talk – sometimes it takes a bit longer than others, but we do it.

Wow, how’s that for a digression. I had no intention of speaking about my husband, but melancholy and an appreciation for all he has done and does brought it out.

Savage Garden – I knew I loved You