“The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too.” ― Ernest Hemingway, Men Without Women

I love this song, and the many versions thereof…

Too often, we become so wrapped up in our partner, so entwined that they become your other half in more than just words – loving them becomes a part of who you are, but not always for the benefit of you both.

In the past, I would often become like that. I would be ruled or ‘owned’ by my partner and no see how much of ‘me’ went missing in the process.

My husband is different. I’ve matured and learned to not become so co-dependent or intertwined and I think we are both better for it. I have my things that comprise ‘me’, he has his things that comprise ‘him’ and together we are who we are – two people who love and respect one another enough to understand our boundaries of ‘self’.

Of course there are compromises in any relationship when it comes to things, but the core ‘self’, that pure idealization of who a person is, should never become twisted and hurt in the process of becoming joined to another (or others).

Love shall be the whole of the law, harm none and do no harm to yourself.

Own yourself. Your worth it.

Grace – You Don’t Own Me ft. G-Eazy

Lesley Gore – You Don’t Own Me

Rasputina – You Don’t Own Me