She Blinded Me With Science

“The saddest aspect of life right now is that science gathers knowledge faster than society gathers wisdom.” ― Isaac Asimov

I’ve been thinking a lot about how far we, as a species, have come in the last century. We went from a very basic form of communications, to constant communication with devices more powerful than the computers that sent the shuttle to the moon on it’s first landing.

I’m only 46 years old. In my lifetime, we have come from corded phones with a dial, to cordless phones with buttons, to wireless communication small enough to fit in your palm.

We’ve come from basic UHF TV, bunny ear antennas and all, to 8K TVs that are fully integrated with smart technology and controlled with the push of a button.

We’ve gone from Pong to fully immersive graphically gorgeous games.

Growing up, our first computer was a Vic20. From that we upgraded to an IBM Best with boot disk. You literally had to put in the disk in order for the computer to work. My favourite game was one you used the arrow keys to move. Pretty sure it was Castle Attack or something similar. The character icon (if you could call it that) was a club (as in the cards icon). To attack – you bumped into the opponent. Now, the game play is so immersive that some of the graphics look real. It’s insane to me how far gaming has come in 40 years.

NOTE: I found the game! It was called Castle. Thank you internet archive for that blast from the past!

We’ve come so far technologically and yet…we, as a species, have not kept up with our technology. We are enraptured by the constant bombardment of information and have yet to learn what it means to have it all. Our children have had to cope with the brunt of it all. We have all the ability to communicate with whomever we want, and yet we are forgetting how to communicate.

Science is always changing. It is by nature and evolving discipline. New studies are done everyday that change the way we live, work, survive. New technologies appear everyday to improve our lives, make things simpler, so we are told. Some technologies absolutely have improved our lives a thousand fold. Some not so much. We are ever present online now – but not so much in real life.

Sometimes I think we are all blinded by science and the pace of life. There is something to be said about taking a slower path, enjoying what is present, what nurtures us – time to stop and smell the roses.

Thomas Dolby – She Blinded Me With Science


“Why melt your life away in mourning? Why let grief eat you alive?” ― Sophocles

I had a whole post written about recent deaths my family has experienced and I realized that I wanted to celebrate life and not focus on death.

People get so wrapped up in the lives of others that we forget that WE have a life to live. Stop wasting it worrying about what your neighbour is doing in their home and focus on what you can do in yours.

Go outside, breath in that air – ok, it’s cold as fuck right now so maybe wait for a warmer day, unless you live where it’s warm than go for it.

Walk barefoot in the grass and remember that simple joy of just being when you were a kid.

Feel the glint of the sun as it dances across your eyes and feel grateful for that simple gift.

Remember to tell the ones you care about, that you do care. Don’t hide it away.

I feel like a gawddamn Hallmark card right now, but we’ve had blow after blow this past while and I just want to feel joy. Contentment. I don’t expect an epic life, but I do want a happy life. I don’t expect to be well known, but I do want those I love to remember me in happiness.

We seem to be getting told on a regular basis that unless you’re doing or having all these ‘things’ that you can’t have a meaningful happy life. Bullshit. Even the most flitting of lives have joy and meaning. Even when meaning seems lost, it’s still there. Don’t waste it by focusing on the shitty. There’s enough crap in our lives daily; if all you did was focus on the shit depression will win. I know that. It’s taken me 45 years to realize it, and it will take longer to get my brain to stop, but I get it.

K, I’m off to polish up on my sunshine and rainbows…they’ve gone a little dark over the years and need to be cleaned up.

Faith No More – Epic

Rich Girl

“No man is rich enough to buy back his past.” ― Oscar Wilde

I’ve been reminiscing so much over the last long while. My eldest just turned 18. She has her learner’s permit to drive. I think her reaching these milestones has brought on a wave of memories long since buried for me.

The aromas of the past linger on my senses. The yearning for those days tugs at my spirit.

I was so fucking care free.

I’m not sure how else to word that. I don’t normally curse in my writing, but the feeling is so intense. I had so much freedom and, yet, I restrained myself in chains of convention. I still do.

No matter how hard I try, I cannot buy back my past. I can’t remove the creases of time. I can’t erase the scars of life.

No matter how hard I want to, I can’t let go…let go of anxiety, depression, sickness.

I’m so desperate to lose weight, be healthy, that I’m forgetting to live along the way.

Would it not be incredible if everyone had the ability to afford proper nutrition, prepped for you when needed? Would it not be incredible if everyone had the ability to get the help they needed, when they needed it and how they needed it?

If I were to be rich, I would be able to do all that and more.

But I’m not.

I guess for now, I’ll trudge on my journey. Attempt to keep up with life, whilst trying to regain my life.

Gwen Stefani – Rich Girl ft. Eve


“You’ve gotta dance like there’s nobody watching,
Love like you’ll never be hurt,
Sing like there’s nobody listening,
And live like it’s heaven on earth.”
William W. Purkey



I know I’ve heard these words spoken before in various ways. They really are true. For someone struggling with anxiety it is so hard to do.

I worry too much about what others think.

I worry too much about how others feel.

I need to focus on me and my finally and just dance like no one is watching.

What prompted this? I walked in to work yesterday with my lunch; with no one around and no one said anything to me I instantly felt shame. I felt shame for how I looked, how I felt. I felt shame that I still haven’t been able to shed the weight I need to in order to be healthy. I felt shame that I’m still struggling every day.

I need to make myself a poster with these words on it. I need to live my life, not just walk through it, and I need to dance like no one is watching…

This song has nothing to do with that (well not really), I just really like it…

Metallica – Whiskey in the Jar


“Without music, life would be a mistake.” – Friedrich Nietzsche, Twilight of the Idols, Or, How to Philosophize With the Hammer

I’m not sure what my life would be without music. It’s always been the medicine that brings me through. I couldn’t imagine living and not hearing the notes rise and fall, crescendo and staccato, the bass and the treble – the reverberate through my soul.

Living in the moment and loving every bit of it.

Andy Grammar – Honey, I’m Good.