Baby It’s Cold Outside

“One can never have enough socks,” said Dumbledore. “Another Christmas has come and gone and I didn’t get a single pair. People will insist on giving me books.” J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone


*whew* I got that out of my system…LOL not.

I think having a toddler has revived my seasonal spirit. I remember when I was young; ok, not really that long ago; I was a holiday fanatic. Even when my teens were little, I could barely sleep Christmas Eve because I couldn’t wait to see the looks on their faces!

I went through a spell for a while where Christmas lost all magic. I still tried my best for my babies, but being a single working mom sapped me. I got really sick (yay MS…). My energy was non-existent, and I was financially terrified. How would I make things magic for them? How would I keep my house? How would I heat it?! How would I get us food!?

Every year without fail something amazing happened and we never went without. By whatever master stroke of luck or providence or what have you, my kids and I always managed to have just what we needed (yes, needed, not wanted) right when we needed it. One year we were blessed with support that I have tried to repay every year by sponsoring a family in need or donating.

This year, my eldest is 16 going on 17. My next child is 15. My baby is 2 soon to be 3 (in January). The elder two get completely into the season helping to make it magic for their younger brother and it pays off in spades. I love it.

We may not be rich. We may not be able to get everything they want, when they want. But we are rich in our lives for what we do have – we have each other, we have a home, we have magic in our lives whether we see it or not.

I wouldn’t change it for anything…ok, a bit extra money for bills would be nice (who am I kidding? Everyone could use extra!).

Time for some cocoa and Christmas magic.

Zoey Deschanel & Leon Redbone – Baby It’s Cold Outside (From the “Elf” soundtrack)


“And above all, watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places. Those who don’t believe in magic will never find it.” Roald Dahl

Sometimes (read: often) I wish I could recapture the imagination and innocence of my youth. I believed. I believed in everything.

I remember writing a little book with my mother. I did the drawings and she wrote it out for me as I dictated it to her. I was too little to write yet, I can’t imagine how old I was; 4 maybe 5? It was about a dragon. I remember the picture of the dragon that I drew. I’m sure she must still have it at her house (my mother likes to hold on to things). I’ll have to see if I can find it.

Unicorns, dragons, faeries, pixies, good witches and wizards – they filled my youth with magic and wonder. Then I became a teenager and such things were no longer cool. I still read fairy tales and fantasy novels, but the magic was tarnishing. Painful memories over took my imagination and innocence.

For many of us, becoming an adult is akin to having a piece of you ripped out. So many times I’ve tried to recapture that feeling, those emotions. I was so happy. Even with the challenges I faced (bullied, low self-esteem, painfully introverted), I was cheerful, and watching something like The Last Unicorn would fill me with wonder and cause my imagination to run wild with dreams of seeing such fantastic things for real!

Now I feel more like Molly Grue (following quote is from The Last Unicorn movie as seen on IMDB):

Molly: No, it can’t be. Can it be? Where have you been? Where have you been? Damn you! Where have you been?
Schmendrick: Don’t you talk to her that way!
Unicorn: I’m here now.
Molly: And where were you twenty years ago? Ten years ago? Where were you when I was new? When I was one of those innocent young maidens you always come to? How dare you! How dare you come to me now, when I am this!
Schmendrick: Can you really see her? Do you know what she is?
Molly: If you had been waiting to see a unicorn, as long as I have…
Schmendrick: She’s the last unicorn in the world.
Molly: It would be the last unicorn that came to Molly Grue. It’s all right, I forgive you.

Where have all the unicorns gone? Where is the magic?

America – The Last Unicorn

Let downs and pick me ups

“Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it!” ― Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Yesterday, I was supposed to pick up my girlie and my boy…only my boy came home. My girlie decided to stay a few more days with her dad. I keep telling myself that this is ok. I have never, and to date have never told them they couldn’t go or couldn’t stay. I did last night though.

I miss my girlie. I want her home. BUT I also feel extremely selfish feeling like this. I actually sobbed when I was alone with the baby in the car. My chest hurt. I was so wounded by her telling me this. I need to let it go. She’s 15, he’s not well, it’s OK. I’m so used to them being home. She stayed and will be there until Sunday.

That was the let down.

The pick me ups – all the songs I have been listening to all day long. I popped on my ear buds and have been working listening to mostly happy tunes. Music is like magic, it works so well on me.

Now it’s time to work on my dreams, and see where they lead me.

Katy Perry – Dark Horse Ft. Juicy J.