Writing it out

It’s funny how sometimes actually seeing the words makes something more real, more defined.

I need to lose weight. This is no  big secret, and I’ve talked about it several times. However, just this afternoon, I worded it different today.

A few years back I lost a lot of weight. Managed to get down to 130 lbs and felt incredible. My goal is between 130 and 100 (before anyone freaks, I’m only 5′ 1″ and I am pretty sure I have shrunk – 100 is well within the range of normal for my height).  Right now, as of this day if I were to lose the weight and carry it around I would NOT be able to.

In other words, if I were to reach 100 lbs, I would be losing almost 105 lbs – I carry this weight around with me ALL day EVERY day…ALL DAY LONG. It would be the equivalent of me carrying my 15 year old daughter around all day. I would not be able to do it. I would be exhausted, drained. I would feel weakness after a period of time, it would be difficult to focus, walking would be hard and/or painful.

Guess what? Walking IS hard. I just went for a walk and my shins and ankles hurt like hell. I AM constantly exhausted, drained, depressed. I DO feel weak constantly. I know that the strain on my body is tremendous. Anyone who thinks being obese is ok for your health has never truly experienced what being healthy is. I can guarantee that WHEN I lose the weight (yes, I said WHEN because I WILL) that I will have ten times the energy I do now, the focus, and I will be far less pain. How do I know this? Because I have been there.

No, I don’t need to reach 100 lbs. 120 lbs would probably be great. It’s NOT the number on the scale I am worried about so much as my health. If I reach 120 – 130 lbs and am HEALTHY, in less pain and far more active – I’ll be stoked.

Writing it out – well – it really helps bring it into perspective.