Gods of War

“There’s never been a true war that wasn’t fought between two sets of people who were certain they were in the right. The really dangerous people believe they are doing whatever they are doing solely and only because it is without question the right thing to do. And that is what makes them dangerous.” ― Neil Gaiman, American Gods

“Ours was a generation grown up to find all gods dead, all wars fought, all faiths in man shaken” –” ― F.Scott Fitzgerald

I would like to believe that someday, some time in the future, peace is possible. I like to believe it, no matter impossible it seems.

We are a strange creature – humans, that is. We are willing to kill and be killed all in the name of a god that many seen to worship, just in different fashions. We are willing to annihilate the planet we live on all in the name of Greed, Lust, Desire. Some of us are willing to die for our Love, our Hope, hearts entwined.

What strange creature are we, humans, that relish in the aftermath of slaughter of innocence, yet wail when the slaughtered are our own.

Once upon a time, wars were fought face to face, person to person. Arms to arms. Once upon a time. Poppies bloomed in fields of blood, men kept marching on.

“Never again.” Words heard over and over. Unheeded, unheard. Never again.

The Gods of War drum out their commands, whispers in the ears of the powerful, and grown into a crescendo of us versus them.

Battle on, humans, battle on. The pawns must obey the players, the players must obey their Gods.

Def Leppard – Gods of War

Into the Ocean

“Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore.” ― André Gide

Hi, my name is Gwen and I am addicted to my aquariums.

Oh myyyy…

I was afraid to get back into this hobby. The more I researched, the more intimidating it was. It is no where near like it was back in the 1980’s – back then you put a fish in a tank, no filter, no heat – just plucked them in and did a full change of water when it was bad enough. I cringe so much writing, and reading, those words.

Step by step, through trial and error, I have grown live plants in all three aquariums. All three have LED lights; the largest having the atypical tube light. All three have happy inhabitants that have come to expect food by a certain time and the largest aquarium even shows signs of wee fry.

I love watching the fish swim around and interact. I’ve persisted through the problems that have cropped up. I do lose an occasional fish now and then, but the population I have now is quite stable.

I enjoy cleaning the aquariums, seeing results from my efforts of care. I get a sense of purpose and joy from it. These beautiful creatures, born into a market that uses them as disposable, are now in my care. I will do everything I can to love and protect them for their natural lives. I do the same for all the creatures in my home. My budgies have more than what is required, my bearded dragon as well. My cats and my dog – all of them, receive the best care I can give them, and sometimes more.

If I can make the effort for all these beautiful creatures, why is it so hard to do the same for myself?

Well, I’ve again dipped my feet into a new ocean and am losing sight of the shore I once clung to. I’ve finally taken a leap I had always wanted to, but was afraid, no, anxious to do. I’ve become vegan. This is huge for me both mentally and physically.

My health has not been very well. My doctor actually recommended I go vegan in an effort to help. I’m overweight. I have depression and anxiety. I could go on. I started my animal free eating more than a week ago – not long, but enough to feel a difference. In this short span of time I can already sense a difference! Mentally, I feel sharper and more ‘awake’. Physically, I feel less tired – my MS fatigue has always been horrible, but this last bit it’s not as bad. I’m still tired, but it’s not as intense. I’m not really sure if I can explain it well.

I know veganism is not for everyone. I would never enforce my dietary needs/wants on another, but I am so glad I finally did this. I’m not sure what I was waiting for.

Here I go, tending to myself finally. Here I go, swimming away from the shore of what I was towards who I really want to be.

In the meantime, my aquariums will always call to me…

Blue October – Into The Ocean

Happiness

“You will never be happy if you continue to search for what happiness consists of. You will never live if you are looking for the meaning of life.”  Albert Camus

Happiness.

Even the word has a certain expression of its own meaning.

Happiness. What joy is derived in the every day that makes happiness? We must choose to be happy, to be joyful, to be grateful.

Anger and hate are soul consuming destructive forces which many confuse for constructive reasoning.

When we are happy, when we let go of that negativity – we are truly free and alive. When we let go, we truly live.

I find as I age that I need to find happiness. The more I let go of the past and the derision of the present, the more happiness I am able to find. I do not turn a blind eye to the world around me. As I said earlier, I am roaring inside. But I am becoming more at peace with myself. I am finding ‘me’ and by extension I am finding happiness.

Sagan – Happiness

It Can’t Rain All The Time

“Clouds come floating into my life, no longer to carry rain or usher storm, but to add color to my sunset sky.” Rabindranath Tagore, Stray Birds 

I read this quote and it literally caught my breath. One simple phrase, such depth of image.

There is so much negativity everywhere lately. The reasons vary. Both real and imagine wrongs are being verbally fought over, an emotional war of words and hate.

We need more love, peace, and understanding in our world.

It can’t rain all the time – and though the clouds that loom are darkening, there is always a crack that allows the sun to shine. When it does, a rainbow of life filters through. A simple image that carries a lifetime of gratitude and contentment with it.

I wish we as a whole (the earth) could practice gratitude in each day, contentment in the moments that are there, peace, and love. How much better would we all be.

I watched “Tomorrowland” with my family the other day. The object that amplifies all that negativity in that movie world reminded me of how much negativity we, as humans, put forth into the unknown. Our hatreds, angers, fears, loathing – all of the negative spilling out in waves of self-fulfilling prophecies.

My husband and I watched “Doctor Strange” on Sunday past. It, too, touched on this concept of the power of the mind. Yes, it was a very fictionalized version of it, but nonetheless it was there.

These two movies has had me thinking about the energies of everything about us and our connection to it. Science has proven that there is an energy that connects every thing that is around us. To quote Carl Sagan, “The nitrogen in our DNA, the calcium in our teeth, the iron in our blood, the carbon in our apple pies were made in the interiors of collapsing stars. We are made of starstuff.”

I think it’s time I get back to my studies. I have been away from them for far too long…

Jane Siberry – It Can’t Rain All The Time (from the motion picture “The Crow”)

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“Never forget what you are, for surely the world will not. Make it your strength. Then it can never be your weakness. Armour yourself in it, and it will never be used to hurt you.”
George R.R. Martin, A Game of Thrones

I have no words.

Our world seems so upside down.

Let love and peace reign over hate and war.

For us, for our children, and our children’s children – a world without war, a world without hate – that should be the goal of every single person on this little blue dot.

R.E.M. – Everybody Hurts