Gods of War

“There’s never been a true war that wasn’t fought between two sets of people who were certain they were in the right. The really dangerous people believe they are doing whatever they are doing solely and only because it is without question the right thing to do. And that is what makes them dangerous.” ― Neil Gaiman, American Gods

“Ours was a generation grown up to find all gods dead, all wars fought, all faiths in man shaken” –” ― F.Scott Fitzgerald

I would like to believe that someday, some time in the future, peace is possible. I like to believe it, no matter impossible it seems.

We are a strange creature – humans, that is. We are willing to kill and be killed all in the name of a god that many seen to worship, just in different fashions. We are willing to annihilate the planet we live on all in the name of Greed, Lust, Desire. Some of us are willing to die for our Love, our Hope, hearts entwined.

What strange creature are we, humans, that relish in the aftermath of slaughter of innocence, yet wail when the slaughtered are our own.

Once upon a time, wars were fought face to face, person to person. Arms to arms. Once upon a time. Poppies bloomed in fields of blood, men kept marching on.

“Never again.” Words heard over and over. Unheeded, unheard. Never again.

The Gods of War drum out their commands, whispers in the ears of the powerful, and grown into a crescendo of us versus them.

Battle on, humans, battle on. The pawns must obey the players, the players must obey their Gods.

Def Leppard – Gods of War

Power

“Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it!” Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (Source: Goodreads)

I want to find my power. That’s probably a bit of an odd thing to say. Let me clarify.

I believe that every single person has power. Some never find it, others let it consume them, others still wield it as a master swordsman wields a blade, others know it is there but allow it to wither and die.

Everyone’s power is different. Unique to them, to their needs, wants, and desires. An actor has power in their trade – their voice, the way they move. A humanitarian has power in their act and the respect they earn in kind. I think you get my point.

I wonder than – what is my power? I honestly do not know and wonder if I am amount those who will never find it. My dreams are large, my capability to see them to fruition is limited to non-existent (at this point in time). I keep telling myself that it will come…but it doesn’t. The older I get the less likely I see it happening.

I’m not upset about this, just a little sad. I’m still not giving up though – maybe that’s where my power lies – in hope.

Snap – I’ve Got The Power

A weighty issue

About a week ago we finally saw the end to a week long power outage. Seriously. We had a tropical storm come trundling through our area, everyone believed it would hit very south of us. It didn’t. Lots of bluster, lots of rain and no power. We left the day it hit to head to my in-laws for a few days (it was actually a planned trip, it wasn’t due to the weather). When we got to our intended destination (which was where the storm was supposed to hit), everything was clear and just a bit windy. Weather is so interesting.

By the time we got home we had lost everything in our fridge and freezer – by freezer, I mean the little one attached to the fridge, we don’t actually have a deep freeze (I know, we’re odd). It sucked, but was actually an opportunity to toss out all the crap we had, and start over with fresh, healthy options. Around this time a friend introduced me to Sparkpeople.

You see, I need to lose weight. I know, I know – a lot of people tell me that as long as I am healthy that weight shouldn’t be an issue. Well, it is for me and always has been. I’m 5’1″ and I won’t tell you my weight because I am thoroughly embarrassed about it. I’m under 200 lbs, so that’s something, right? My health is definitely affected. My joints ache, my back is in pain when I wake up in the morning and I KNOW it’s because my abdominal muscles are – well – non-existent at this point. About 10 years ago I had managed to lose 60 lbs. This time I’m hoping to lose about 70 lbs, if not a bit more. According to certain sites a healthy weight for a woman my size is between 97.9 and 132.3 lbs as per .

This undertaking is huge for me (no pun intended). This has been my week. Restocking for a healthier me and family, trying to eat right, feeling extreme guilt and disgust when I don’t eat something healthy, feeling tired, weighed down, and downright horrid for not losing a single goddamn pound. NOT ONE. I am a breastfeeding mom with 3 kids. I have walked a lot this week, I have watched my portions. Even ONE pound would have been nice.

So to this end, if you are on Sparkpeople – add me. GWENAJONES is my user name (all lower case). I could use all the help (and positive encouragement!) I can get!

Also – if you have thoughts on good exercises to do at home with children present (aka 6 month old baby), please share, I’d love to learn some!