You Don’t Own Me

“The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too.” ― Ernest Hemingway, Men Without Women

I love this song, and the many versions thereof…

Too often, we become so wrapped up in our partner, so entwined that they become your other half in more than just words – loving them becomes a part of who you are, but not always for the benefit of you both.

In the past, I would often become like that. I would be ruled or ‘owned’ by my partner and no see how much of ‘me’ went missing in the process.

My husband is different. I’ve matured and learned to not become so co-dependent or intertwined and I think we are both better for it. I have my things that comprise ‘me’, he has his things that comprise ‘him’ and together we are who we are – two people who love and respect one another enough to understand our boundaries of ‘self’.

Of course there are compromises in any relationship when it comes to things, but the core ‘self’, that pure idealization of who a person is, should never become twisted and hurt in the process of becoming joined to another (or others).

Love shall be the whole of the law, harm none and do no harm to yourself.

Own yourself. Your worth it.

Grace – You Don’t Own Me ft. G-Eazy

Lesley Gore – You Don’t Own Me

Rasputina – You Don’t Own Me


24 years ago today I lost my best friend. She was only 14 years old. She had a vibrant personality that was larger than life. I miss her. I may go days or weeks without thinking of her but then something will happen and I can hear her voice again.

It’s funny how people say that it gets easier with time. Sure it does, the pain is a dulled, memories fade. But then a day like this happens and it transports you back to that moment.

Pamela Gail Bischoff was murdered on this day 24 years ago. She had gone missing. The police thought she ran away. Those closest to her knew better. I think we all knew the moment she didn’t come home. She was a planner. She would have told one of us. Six days later, her body was pulled from the river. The next while is a blur lost to time.

She was so beautiful and vibrant and funny and free.

RASPUTINA – Wish You Were Here:

Songs for Life

Listen to the lyrics. Seriously. Listen. For anyone with MS, or a chronic illness it is almost metaphoric. I never noticed it till today, whilst listening. Either way, I love the song. I know

Rasputina – Hunter’s Kiss.

I think it’s a Rasputina kind of day.

My ex was very controlling (I’ll leave it at that). I love Rasputina’s version of this song. It feels like a full bodied mantra, a war chant…

Rasputina – You Don’t Own Me