“When the past is forgotten, the present is unforgettable” ― Martin Amis, Other People

I love knitting.

I really, really do.

I hate seaming. It never looks right to me. I see all the pictures of gorgeously seamed knitted items, and then I look at mine…and *shudder* gah.

I’m knitting up some Dory characters for my 3 year old. He is VERY anxious for me to finish.

The first one is baby Dory a pattern by Nicola Riley (a.k.a. NixknittingSticks on Ravelry). The pattern is very well written and easy to follow. It was a cinch to knit up, and now I’m onto the seaming. *sigh* poor Marrok…I joked that it would take me longer to seam her than it did to knit her…it really wasn’t a joke.

I had to tear out some of the stitching around the front/mouth area as I am really not happy with how I did it. Being a perfectionist really sucks sometimes…

I’m certain my tot will love her. I just hope I can finish her before he starts school…

In the meantime, life moves on…and appointments get forgotten 😐 I really wish I was joking. No harm done, except to my ego.

Sia – Unforgettable (Finding Dory)

I’m Alive

“What is the point of being alive if you don’t at least try to do something remarkable?” John Green, An Abundance of Katherines

“Let us learn to show our friendship for a man when he is alive and not after he is dead.” F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby

It never ceases to amaze me how fast time seems to run when things feel insane. Life sometimes feels like one massive train wreck that you can’t tear your eyes away from. You can’t stop it, you know it’s going to happen, and you have to sit and watch the whole thing unfold.

I just looked – I last posted on May 3rd…over a month ago.

A month can change so much. Heck, a day can see the world change, so can an hour.

In the last month I have had to put down my 10 year old dog, I adopted two bearded dragons (one of whom has an infected crack in her jaw *educate yourselves before getting a pet people!!!), I am preparing for my kids to finish school, I have had two gum grafts, my 14 year old received a tournaround achievement award (WOOT WOOT!), my 16 year old – ok, she’s the same – my husband has been diagnosed with Parkinson’s (early stages), and the list goes on.

I also get braces on in 2 weeks Dean shocked

I know – crazy.

Oh yeah – did I mention my husband has Parkinson’s?

To say our family is stressed would be an understatement.Dean-W-dean-winchester-21433645-500-282.gif

But I have to say these two cuties have definitely given me an awesome distraction

This is Evee (she’s the one with the infected jaw, and underweight, and dehydrated, etc, poor baby girl) –
EveeThis is Gonzo (originally named Steg, but Gonzo suits him way better) – and just like his namesake – he is overconfident and a complete goof LOLGonzo

I am grateful to the Oromocto SPCA for letting me adopt these two gorgeous beast. I love bearded dragons. I had two many years ago that I had to part with due to – well, due to the fact I was a broke single mom all of a sudden and they were apparently illegal in my province at the time (they are now legal, YAY!).

If you want to learn more about Bearded Dragons I can recommend a few sites. Actually, I think I’ll do up a whole separate post for that. It will be long. Mostly, remember to PLEASE PLEASE educate yourself. Gonzo and Evee were housed together for a long time – they never should have been. Bearded dragons are solitary creatures – what you see as cute and bonding – like laying on each other and arm waving – are actually signs of dominance, territorial assertions, and submission.

I’ll try to post more in the next while. But, mostly, I wanted to let ya’ll know I am still alive. I am here. I am actually content right now in the midst of this storm. I miss my Lucky Bear and keep hearing him whimper even though he is gone. I am worried about my husband and what our future holds – but I am HERE.

Sia – Alive


“Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none.” ― William Shakespeare, All’s Well That Ends Well

Love. It’s such a fickle thing, isn’t it? One minute you are madly in love…everything is new, fresh. The next, you question everything – every detail. Why?

No, I’m not talking about my husband – he’s wonderful and normally very patient. My daughter, on the other hand, is a teenager. With teen hood ultimately comes secrets, and she, for some reason, feels the need to hide things. It makes it incredibly hard to trust her, but I try. I love her. I love all my children, unconditionally – but trust. That’s a different thing.

Have I always done right by them? I don’t think so but I know I have tried. I try, gods know that I have tried to do everything in my power to make sure they have all they need, most of what they want, and an abundance of love and  attention. It’s hard though when you throw your whole life into something only to be called down behind your back. I won’t go into it, but I know things have been said about me that have caused pain and confusion – none of it true – but the truth rarely matters to some.

I feel like the harder I try, the worse it gets. Maybe it’s time to give up…stop trying, just let the dominoes fall where they may and pick up the pieces after the fallout.


Sia – Elastic Heart


“Children must be taught how to think, not what to think.” ― Margaret Mead

YES! So much yes in this quote. So many times I listen to children and they merely mimic what they are hearing. There is no thought put in the words, merely mimicry of what has been taught to them to think. Does that make sense? I’m not sure I worded that properly to get my point across.

Since my children were very young, I have endeavored to teach them to think for themselves, to be confident, and to not fear telling others what they feel or believe. I’m not always successful in this, but I do hope I have managed to at very least make them want to think for themselves.

I am not sure what precipitated this post. I’m feeling a bit introspective I suppose. As two of my children near adulthood and one embarks of the journey of toddlerhood, I can’t help but pour over the past and see what I perhaps did right or wrong.

Life would be so much easier if everything came with a manual, wouldn’t it? HAHA! It would be too easy then, I would think. Life is much more interesting when living by the edge of your seat, no guidelines to direct you, no hand to hold.

David Guetta – Titanium ft. Sia