Explosions of the mind

“Every morning I jump out of bed and step on a landmine. The landmine is me. After the explosion, I spend the rest of the day putting the pieces together.” Ray Bradbury, Zen in the Art of Writing (Source: Goodreads).

I have never heard it put so eloquently. What is it? It is the way I feel when I get out of bed. The mass of emotions, thoughts, dreams, fears, hopes, wishes, prayers, sensations – everything flooding in as I wipe the sleep from my eyes. A flood of everything in my life rushes in and I must parse it together and move on with my day.

Sometimes, it is too much and I find myself in a fog. Brain fog is common to MS and allergy sufferers. I find that my sleep and waking affect how bad it is. Stress makes it worse. Learning mindfulness would help. I’ve downloaded apps to try – ask me if I’ve used them. The answer would be – not yet. It’s funny how having children makes you focus on their wants and needs before your own. That is not always a healthy way to be. One needs to have time to decompress, especially after a rather bad day.

I’ve downloaded Stop, Breathe & Think, Calm, and Mindfullness. I’ve looked at their contents, they look good, I just need to set aside the time to use them. Time is such a funny, fickle thing. One moment can feel as though it fills a lifetime, the next moment a millisecond from the sense of implosion it passes so quickly.

Exploding in my mind
it passes through
pace by pace
a never ending
against the cloak of
thoughts into my mind
As I step onto the cold
of my floor
dreams that came
lost in the span
of a breathe
in time
lost inside the
explosions of my

Ellie Goulding – Explosions

Tiger In My Mind

My mind is trapped
lost in on itself
tangled in a web
a fog thick as thieves
stealing my fondest of
what is memory
a window on a forgotten
a realm of what was
and what we think it was
or has been

Where do thoughts go
once lost to time
to illness
to that space of neverwhere
here or there
in a mist of dullness
cold fingers liking down
my spine

So many wonderful things
lost to the ravages of the tiger
in my mind
it tears even the strongest of bonds
swallowing them whole
leaving nothing