Crushing the Mind

I don’t know how long now this numbness has been going on; I know it’s been weeks. I finally called my family doctor as I’m feeling crushed. Yesterday, I couldn’t remember the word rhetorical. This may not seem like a big deal to some, but to me it is. I love that I have a large and well-rounded vocabulary; losing any of it is a blow to me.

Sleep. A good night’s sleep would help I am sure, but when your 15 month old wakes at 2 or 3 am and nurses most of the night…well, sleep is elusive to say the least (yes, I am still breastfeeding – he is my last child of three and the only one I could successful nurse, WHO suggest nursing up to 24 months). Thank the Powers That Be my hubby is a good man who keeps up with most of the house for us. He is also a wonderful stay-at-home dad who works part-time. I told him to enjoy it, he would never get this time over again with our son (my older two are from a previous marriage, this is my hubby’s first biological child).

I need to renew my practice in mindfulness, yoga, and proper eating. I constantly fall off the train on them and I know they would make all the difference in my life. It’s hard. I would love to be one of those people who find activity and proper nutrition come naturally to them. Even when I was a teen I had to struggle to be active. I made myself join cheerleading in my last year of high school and did it for two years at university. I loved it. But it was hard to find the energy. I remember going to dances with my friends and being the only one to fall asleep at a table (I’m not joking).

Oh to get a wonderful night’s sleep and actually feel rested. I wonder how that feels…

8 Hour Deep Sleep Music: Delta Waves, Relaxing Music Sleep, Sleeping Music, Sleep Meditation ☯159 – Yellow Brick Cinema: